Baca-B-Gone

The worlds first and only - flushable hot tub.

No more filters to clean, no more jet's to dis ssemble, no more pretending the tub is "broken" when hairy or ugly people come to visit.


Baca-B-Gone hot tubs look like ordinary tubs, they're warm, they're cozy, and utilize powerful jets to help relieve tired stressed out bodies. But, we've combined your natural phobia of the great unwashed with sophisticated technology and user friendly controls. We understand you'd rather be enjoying the warm water rather than cleaning the remains of lesser-beings from it.

With a touch of a button, gas fired turbine pumps remove the tainted water from your spa in under 20 seconds! After this discharge of old water, hundred of litres of pure FRESH water are poured in....along with powerful scrubbing acids, and caustic heavy metals. This purifying stage lasts only 30 seconds, and once again the water is discharged into the municipal water system.

After a refreshing rinse cycle a final filling of the more FRESH water fills your tub back to the top, and using those same gas fired turbines, is heated in under 50 seconds.

Ecological disaster? You bet! But can one really put a price on cleanliness, and your families health, and above all - your insolence to the world around you.

We've spent a lifetime building our empires, and do you think some ice shelf, or baby seal will stop us...not on your life. Sometimes the world just isn't enough!

Beginning of "things we wish we could buy"

I'm going to take the whole magazine ad to the next level. I've written a number of off the wall, way out there ads for obscene products alla Sharper Image..and then some!

Hopefully you find them enjoyable, I'd rather share than just write them and lock them forever into the vault. Well...depends how lazy I am!

If you can think of something off the wall, I'll try my best...comment here and I'll see what comes out of my head.

Cheers

Things you wish you could buy #1

Arch-Angel X3/A

Brown outs, oil prices, nuclear war? They’re all just background noise when your home is sporting our new Arch-Angel X3/A Generator.

Capable of 5 Megawatts - running at full speed, our patented “virtual perpetual motion” generator will power all the “little things” you’ve come to expect in your life.

Designed with calamity in mind, let the gentle hum of the turbines cradle you securely, as the world outside slips away into chaos.

While “THEY” are hunting for food in a post apocalyptic wasteland, you’ll be enjoying braised baby lamb chops, a side of shallots, and maybe some fresh Chinese Bok-Choy grown in your own hydroponics garden...all powered by the ever dutiful - - and coveted X3/A.

With the patented Bio-Mass addition, fuel supplies are a thing of the past. Not only can the system run on regular gas and any other fossil fuel, you can also use virtually ANY organic matter...living or dead, and keep the engine running...long into a deep cold nuclear winter.

You’ve worked hard for your life trophies, and you won’t loose them to some upstart meteor strike or persistent super virus. Like an esoteric Straussian you clawed your way to the top, and come hell or high water, you're going to stay there.

Unique, and only for you.